I found by trial and error that I’m more focused when I’ve had a bit of caffeine. It’s my theory that caffeine, like Ritalin, is a stimulant, thus it works on my brain in a similar way. I’ve never done the research to see if that jibes with anyone else’s experience or any trials, but so far it’s worked for me. If I keep a slow but steady drip of coffee or soda into my system all day, I’m more productive and able to focus.
The problem is that if I have too much, suddenly I’m more hyperactive and impulsive than when I started. It’s especially perilous because the line between moderation and overindulgence is variable, but quite abrupt. I can’t predict when I’m going to cross the line, but once I do, it’s pretty damn unambiguous.
Let’s take today as a prime example. I didn’t get into work until lunchtime, because I’m on part time and I’ve been sick lately. I had a Coke mid-morning, then brought another in with me to work, hoping that it would be a nice, steady start of the ideal drip-feed. After lunch at my desk, I made the critical error of going out for a cup of coffee. I drank it too fast and from that point on my attention span was shot. I jumped restlessly from Twitter to news sites to back to work, then round again. Just to make the situation more confusing, I work in social media, so the line between productive work and goofing off is rather blurry.
Then, for reasons I can’t begin to fathom, I found myself with a second cup of coffee in my hand, which I proceeded to drink. Then I was completely fucked and it took me an hour to get through the work-relevant article I was trying to read.  I finally gave up at four and decided I couldn’t even pretend to be doing billable work anymore.
As I write this, I’m trying to stop my leg from shaking the whole floor (it does that all the time, but worse when I’m caffeinated) and I’m having trouble focusing for long enough to get out more than a sentence at a time, despite having planned the whole post during the ride home.
So, what does this mean? Has anyone else had a similar experience self-medicating with caffeine? Is there any clinical evidence out there to support or debunk my thesis? Do I need to swear off the black stuff for a while?
While you ponder these facts, I’m going to go put on some fast music so I can dance this off.
